Monday, December 13, 2010

Sorry I Forgot When to Stop

2 months and 4 days ago we celebrated my husband's 40th birthday. It was one hell of a shindig, and I STILL have the injuries to prove it. Here's how it happened: after about 800 glasses of champagne I thought it would be a good idea to do a flamboyant dance routine, in high heels on the staircase of the bar where we held the party. It turned out that it was not such a good idea after all.In front of about 50 of our closest family and friends I rolled my ankle and fell down the stairs. I landed on my face.  Even though it had hurt quite a bit, I was drunk enough to think it was funny. When a concerned friend asked "Can I get you some ice for it?" I said, "No, but you could get me another champagne".

The next morning I could hardly put any weight on my foot. I had a bruised thigh, a bruised nose and my knee was bruised so badly that it was black. By that afternoon I sent my husband out to hire some crutches. The following morning, I went to the hospital, fearing it might be broken. I had to take the week off work, and 9 weeks later I am still limping. Now it does not seem quite so funny.

I would like to say "after one too many cool beverages I occasionally act foolishly". Alas, that would be a gross understatement. The truth is more like: after TEN too many cool beverages, I commonly act like a madwoman. Lately I have been waking up frequently with alcoholic remorse. The first order of the day: dispatch text messages apologising for inappropriate acts committed the night before:
  • Dear so and so, thank you for dinner, sorry I violated your dessert.
  • Dear so and so, what a great night, sorry I broke that glass and made no attempt to clean it up.
  • Dear so and so, it was great to catch up with you, I'm really sorry about those not-very-nice things I said about your ex-girlfriend.
A couple of weeks ago I had a brainwave: maybe I could stop drinking before I start doing things I'll need to apologise for later. Revolutionary! So this sketchbook entry is an apology to myself: Sorry I forgot when to stop. 


  1. I'm still waiting for you're apology for talking about lamb mince x

  2. Oops now I have to apologise for "you're" instead of "your" x x

  3. Ha ha, well it was a bit boring but thankfully not too embarrassing.

  4. Who do you apologise to for tearing up the art works in Masterpiece? ;)

  5. No-one! Those works deserved tearing up! And i'd do it again, yessirree.